HEY, SINGLES!

Hey Singles,

This post is for you. 

What a weird place and season of life you are in. Sometimes it's looked down on within the church, sometimes it's embraced by the feminist or manly culture of "you're better off without anyone," sometimes it's looked at as lonely, sometimes you're questioned and criticized because everyone is constantly asking you when you're going to find that special someone to live the rest of your days out with, sometimes it's to try to find your identity & what you like before you settle down and choose what path you wanna take in life. There's a lot of different types of singles. But how are we to act when we're single...according to the word of God. Hmm. 

Recently, I had a breakthrough. I too am single. Especially within the "christian culture" and when you're a pastors kid, it seems like you're expected to get married at a young age, find that special someone and make sure not to mess up because you're an example to everyone else. It's just something that comes with your "job title" as "pastors kid." I was joking with friends tonight about how one time at a church we visited out of state, the pastor literally would not stop pursuing me about marrying his son...in fact it became really uncomfortable because even when I was holding a 2 year old, he said "wow! you look really good holding that child!! You would be a great mother to grandchildren..." implying yet another reason as to why I should marry his son. Every chance he had he would question me about my love life. Weird. 

That's one extreme- of everyone wanting you to get married, or them thinking that they have the perfect spouse picked out for you. Then here's the other end of the spectrum, and of course there's a lot of in between. I would say the other end, is when you have a friend of the other gender that you spend time with. Sometimes you're criticized and accused of "oh you think that's your future spouse" or "why do you spend so much time with them???" or "you better stay above reproach..." some people might always remind you "don't mess up...!" It's hard sometimes. And sometimes, you just really wish that you could have a brother in the Lord that either didn't think you were his future spouse, and that you could literally just have a brother/sister relationship with. But unfortunately, in today's day and age rarely does that happen, and sometimes it feels like you're walking on egg shells constantly around the opposite sex because you don't want to be accused of anything...ever.

Another-- the lonliness and singles always wanting to get married. They're on a spouse hunt, and they're always looking left and right and considering everyone as a potential future spouse. They go to singles nights, have a lot of "sisters in the lord" and pursue only the opposite sex for bible questions, or edifying. Yup. Flirting gone bad in the Christian culture. 

Last but not least-- the ones who say they'll never get married, and are better off living alone the rest of their life because they're married to their career. 

So singles. Back to the breakthrough I had recently.  I hope it touches you, and is explained just as simply to your heart and pierces it just like it did mine. It's based out of the book of Corinthians, and I think this scripture is often overlooked because this letter (Corinthians) is generally known for and the go to book for the following:

1. LOVE is...
2. Run the Race, don't give up.
3. Divorce & Homosexuality
4. Order within the church / Tongues
5. Your Body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit, don't defile it.

But there's a theme and something that I pulled from it this time. That's what I love is that the word is living and active, and every time I read it-- no matter how many times I do, I seem to fall in love again and have another type of revelation. This time it was out of this passage:

^"32 My desire is to have you free from all anxiety and distressing care. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord;

³³ But the married man is anxious about worldly matters—how he may please his wife—

³⁴ And he is drawn in diverging directions [his interests are divided and he is distracted from his devotion to God]. And the unmarried woman or girl is concerned and anxious about the matters of the Lord, how to be wholly separated and set apart in body and spirit; but the married woman has her cares [centered] in earthly affairs—how she may please her husband.

³⁵ Now I say this for your own welfare and profit, not to put [a halter of] restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and in good order and to secure your undistracted and undivided devotion to the Lord." -1 Corinthians 7:32-35 Amplified 

Singles, secure your undistracted and undivided devotion to the Lord. All of your affection should be on HIM. Be so concerned about the cares of furthering the kingdom of God that nothing else matters. These things aren't to "put a halter or restraint" upon you, there aren't so many rules to follow about singleness, and you can live so freely with Jesus that you won't feel like you're walking on egg shells around the opposite sex and opinions of your life and the way you live it won't really matter because you know that you're right where the Lord wants you to be. So, all of those awkward situations, whether it be questions or relationships, just set your affection upon the Lord. You are not missing out. Don't be lonely. Embrace your singleness. How blessed we are to be like the apostle Paul! Able to travel, share the good news, and go freely to edify our brothers and sisters. 

Later on in this chapter, Paul talks about being ready for when marriage comes. It's not a wrong thing to have a desire to be married. But- embrace your singleness too. Enjoy the season. Don't always be looking so far ahead that you miss out on having all of your undivided attention and affection on the Lord. I have a feeling that marriage one day will be a lot easier because my relationship with Jesus won't change. It'll only get stronger, and that's because I'm working on me now- who I am, and who I'm created to be...made perfectly in His image. And it's a beautiful thing. 

Set your undivided attention & affection on the Lord, because really singles- you're not single. You're a part of the bride of Christ, and you're not alone. 

💛